The Trap of “The One”

They say one must be the one.

Not just a one, but the crowned, the chosen, the unrivaled bloom in the garden. Specialness becomes the offering laid at the altar of love, a shimmering bait to ward off the shadow of being passed over.

Be more radiant than the rest, and perhaps the heart will be spared indifference’s cold draft. The truth is that the attachment to specialness is a trap which does not create real love or connection but one of the most insidious lures to take one out of flight. This status exists only if there is someone else who is not chosen.

This means that specialness is built on separation, on needing to stand apart. Because of that, this label is always fragile. If a person needs to be seen as special in order to feel loved, they will always be at the mercy of outside validation and constantly look for signs that they still hold their position, terrified of anything that might threaten it.

Someone else must dim for the favored one to shine. This hierarchy is carved from fear, dressed in devotion’s costume built not on love but exclusion. To crave specialness is to offer oneself to the machinery of comparison.