There is a trap that locks half our soul outside of ourselves.
We may recognize ourselves as masculine or feminine and relate to our opposite as something foreign to us. If you’re a woman, you may recognize the masculine soul in your father, brother, husband. Masculine traits like logic, decisive action, and handling responsibilities are outsourced to men in our lives or to masculine institutions, like governments, church, society.
In this dynamic, a woman projects her masculine soul onto a man, seeing him as embodying the qualities she seeks. As long as this projection is effective—meaning the man’s personality aligns with her inner image of the masculine soul—there is no conflict. This relationship can feel ideal, almost perfect.
Projecting the masculine soul onto a man can create a sense of satisfaction and completeness, but it can lead to a form of dependence that can become suffocating. This dynamic is mirrored when a man projects his feminine soul onto a woman, expecting her to feel for him and manage relational aspects. These projections create a symbiotic bond that can lead to intense dependence on the overt form of reliance and the covert form of needing validation and approval.
The “perfect relationship” depends on the stability of the projection, keeping the woman unaware of her own unconscious masculine soul. The warning signs creep in as anxiety, sleeplessness, headaches, or other signs of inner unrest. Such idealized projections are rarely sustainable. The reality of who the other person is will inevitably reveal itself, highlighting the differences between the idealized image of the masculine soul and the actual human being.
The key to avoiding this trap lies in becoming aware of our own inner masculine soul and integrating its qualities into our lives. By doing so, we can reduce our dependence on external figures to fulfill these roles, leading to healthier, more balanced relationships and a deeper sense of inner wholeness. The journey inward is not just about finding peace with others; it’s about finding peace within ourselves.