When men dominate the market on sex, it becomes very priapic, focused on a “get-er-done” climax consciousness and conquering. This approach strips away the art, beauty, and sacred elements that could bridge distances rather than create them. It becomes hard and physical, like a young man’s body, rather than brimming with energy like a woman’s. Reality gets chopped up into categories: love, sex, connection, emotion. The dynamic life force that stirs in a woman’s womb is reduced to a single event.
The imaginal mind projects onto the screen of culture and spiritual rituals rooted in our original mating rituals. How we mate is how we live.
The sex impulse is the original source code of consciousness. Change your sex, change your mind. (The reverse is also true, of course.)
Do you want to program sex as duty, obligation, tolerance, and transaction, with the highest goal being physical release, procreation, or getting love?
Or do you want sex to be transcendent, an experience that transports you into the mystical, where wisdom, epiphany, realization, and creativity are dense and available to immerse in?
Ask yourself these questions because how you relate to sexuality shapes the world you create.
You’ve seen mandalas meticulously crafted from sand by monks over days or weeks, only to be wiped away. They represent an imaginal world of the highest order, built on “Vajra ground,” meaning invincible, indestructible wisdom.
When reality is constructed from this ground, fields of enlightened activity develop. What if we built our conceptual world from this wisdom rather than the limiting and predictable world of original sin? Taking sacred things and dropping them into the arid soil of sin turns them hideous and fear-inducing. If something is good and powerful and can liberate you from masculine control, it is often labeled as sinful.
Change the soil, change the mind. The sinmind is always in deficit, constantly trying to earn or make up for its basic existence. It’s a zero-sum game.
The feminine—or eudaimonic—mind views everything as an opportunity to create.
Liberate your creative force. Define your world from Vajra soil. Make your joy and peace indestructible. To do this, start at the beginning—with the sex impulse.
You will access the philosopher’s stone, allowing you to define your experience in harmony with reality.
Create what my friends Bex and Katy call a ‘Clitionary.’ Define the world on your terms. Should we believe that the ultra-sensitivity of autism is a disorder? Should the multi-tracking mind of ADD be seen as deficient? Is caregiving for a parent with Alzheimer’s less important than trading on the stock market? Should performative expression be valued more than genuine feeling to be considered mature? Is the absence of passion, subdued by cold reason, the pinnacle of adulthood? What about conversations that meander for the joy of words rather than the efficiency-oriented directive language of authority?