While we are drawn to love and sex and play and connection, resistance rises up, almost inevitably, to keep us from these experiences. The excuses pull on us to keep us in this world, because they know the experience of making love involves a kind of letting go. When making love, there is a clear line of demarcation, crossing over from one reality to another. To make the crossing, we must give up ourselves as we have known ourselves to be; that self ceases to exist.
What happens inside of us is usually experienced as a type of death. To come into contact with that line of demarcation causes the conscious mind to black out; it cannot quite remember crossing over, but what is revealed to us confirms we have left our previous life behind. At the foundation, a profound rearranging occurs. It’s as if we go under anesthesia for an operation, but with the clear understanding that its purpose is to evolve us into our very particular expression of love itself. We are not merely making love, but being made into love.
We now exist in a world that all of life issues from. It is nothing we could experience intellectually or conceptually. We see with a different set of eyes. So often we have only seen what has collected around or gathered on top of love, but these eyes are capable of seeing love itself. There may be a kind of shyness to see love naked of possession or attachment but once we can see it in this way, we can understand its workings.
We realize there is a method to love’s madness and by learning that method, we can collaborate.
We see why we have compassion, why we are generous, why we would dare to love the unlovable. We know it in our cells and bones and sinew. Our eyes can see through the pretending of the external world, perceiving the energy and meaning that underly each action as it breaks through to meet us, in discoveries universal and unique. It is as if in that moment of crossing over, a program was exchanged deep within us, something we could never manufacture, and there is a distinct feeling that we are emerging into something altogether different.
Each time we engage in making love in this way, we develop a deeper relationship with love itself and the secrets it reveals. And yet, we show up behind a wall of insecurity and a whole host of resultant behaviors, creating different and creative forms of resistance every single time. We may not feel attractive or attracted to or turned on. And still, we show up with all of it, in order to be trained by love in the art of making love.
-The Eros Sutras, Volume 4: Relationship