What Evokes A Woman

To engage with Eros as a man in this moment in time—amidst the complexity of women’s experiences and the culture at large—requires a rare kind of presence and an unwavering recognition of women’s inherent nobility. The best men I’ve known, the ones who bring out the fullest expression of Eros in me, share one trait: they hold me in the highest vision of my power. They hold me in a way that never wavers, never deviates, and reflects my deepest dignity back to me. It’s not a bowing kind of nobility they acknowledge, but a steady recognition of the sacredness of being alive and embodied, the kind that invites me to rise into alignment with my true nature.

This is what women long for, even as many of us have lost touch with it ourselves. Through centuries of disconnection, women have built structures to survive in a world that often denies or distorts our power. One such structure is what I call the “Pussy Cartel.” It’s a system of control, a transactional dynamic that uses sex as a bargaining chip. If you do this, I’ll give you sex. If you don’t, I won’t. Beneath this system lies a deep-seated sense of victimhood—a visceral experience of being aggrieved, discontented, or disconnected from one’s full sexual expression.

The true root of this is the congestion of women’s sexual energy. When the natural flow of sexuality is blocked, it creates knots—emotional, physical, and spiritual constrictions that distort perception and behavior. These knots amplify discomfort and pain, causing women to seek relief through control, medication, through endless conversations about safety and boundaries. But these external measures only address the symptoms, not the source.

The source is the knot itself, and the path to freedom lies in opening it. When the knot is released and sexual energy begins to flow freely, the stories of victimhood and discontent dissolve. What emerges is a woman fully alive, fully expressed, and aligned with her inherent nobility.

For men, the task is not to fix, rescue, or negotiate with these knots but to hold steady. To see the woman beneath the congestion, the one who knows she is capable, powerful, and whole—even if she can’t access it in the moment. This requires immense strength and integrity, especially in a culture that conditions men to seek approval, sex, or validation through compliance. It requires resisting the urge to cater to the surface-level demands of the “Pussy Cartel” and instead relating to the deeper truth of the woman in front of you.

To do this well, men must navigate their own initiation. Just as women face the demons at the gate of their sexuality—fears of being burned, rejected, or punished for fully expressing themselves—men face their own challenge: the hunger that tempts them to bypass their values, to kowtow to distorted power dynamics in the hope of receiving something that feels like nourishment. This initiation calls men to remain true to their ethical structures, even when the immediate rewards of doing so are unclear.

The practice of holding this steady presence is not about denial or rigidity. It’s about being skillful and compassionate, responding to the moment while still holding the vision of the woman’s inherent nobility. As Ken Wilber suggests, when someone is trapped in a bad dream, you don’t shake them awake violently. You respond gently, perhaps even offering a pillow and blanket, until they are ready to wake on their own.

For women, the journey is one of emergence—of finding the courage to step fully into their power and meet the world as their most expressed selves. Men can play a vital role in this by creating conditions that make this courage easier to access. See her not as broken, but as whole. Relate to the person behind the knot, the one with infinite potential locked within. Reflect her nobility back to her, even when she cannot see it herself.

This dynamic is not about men saving women or women submitting to men. It is about partnership, where both honor the unique tasks of their journeys. For women, it’s the task of opening, of facing the gates of fear and emerging as their true selves. For men, it’s the task of remaining grounded, steadfast, and aligned with truth. Together, they create the conditions where Eros can flourish.