The Rhythm of Making Love

We fasten our attention on the rhythm. Not the voices in our heads. Not what our partner is doing. It is like being in the ocean and focusing on the waves.

We are not thinking about how we look or when we will get out of the ocean or what it means to be in the ocean. We are not watching who we came into the ocean with, whether or not they are swimming or flailing.

Most importantly, for a woman, when she focuses on the waves and on her own movement, she can finally be released from “meaning.”
Women in particular place so much meaning on sex that it prevents them from being one with the waves, one with the experience.

It is this being “one with” that lulls the mind and liberates it from the rigid female conditioning around purity and all the meaning she projects onto allowing another in. All of the meanings that it precisely is not.

When we tune in to the waves, they purify all experience and act as a point of connection. When we focus only on each other, we are like two people trying to dance with no music. Neither of us is sure who should lead without the guidance of rhythm.

When we both make the rhythm our focus, something beautiful happens—we find a meeting point and a unique, artistic, and complementary response to it. Both of us are elevated in beauty and art to discover the same world eroticized, scarcely like any world we have ever known.