Release What Grips You

All stroking in life is ultimately for the chance to lose something. We act, stroke, and prepare. Then a window opens—and the more skillfully we’ve stroked, the better the window. We can’t control when it opens, only how well we’ve prepared our willingness.

When the window opens, it makes an offer. The more we’ve practiced willingness, the more likely we are to say yes—even when the mind wants to hold on and say no.

The offer is to release something we’re gripped by. We can let it go now or remain bound, not knowing when the next chance will come. If we say yes, it’s a mix of preparation and grace. Our best preparation is to know: losing is the natural mind’s only way to win.

The offer brings a sobering moment—“this has never worked.” Still, we want to hold on. We fear the unknown more than familiar pain. To let go, we must free-fall into trust. Our ability to fall determines our joy.

If it were up to the Erotic, there’d be little pain. We’d see the window, receive the offer, and release. Eros’s first offer is always the best—after that, the pain increases and returns diminish.

One trick is to listen when Eros offers to remove the grip itself. We mistake our position for who we are. But who we are is everything but that grip. Letting go of it moves us into the flow of Eros.

Another trick is knowing disorientation comes with release. But eventually, even that disorientation can be released. Where we once contracted, we now feel reinforced to stay open.

We come to see release as our only real option. Modifying behavior only suspends the impulse. True change comes by offering up what no longer serves us.