Love Is Not About Possession

Freedom isn’t about cutting things out—it’s about expanding. The moment you think you have to reject something to be free, you’ve already lost. Real freedom is growing big enough to hold it all.

This is especially true with love and desire. People think they have two choices: dive in and risk losing themselves or reject it to stay in control. But that’s a false choice. The answer isn’t saying no—it’s becoming vast enough that nothing can take you over.

Think of salt in water. A glass of water with a cup of salt is undrinkable. A pool? You barely taste it. A river? It disappears. The salt doesn’t change—the only difference is how much water there is. The more space you create inside yourself, the less anything controls you.

Romance is like salt. It’s small but intense, pulling you in, making you obsess over one person, one feeling, one moment. It’s intoxicating—but also consuming. And if you grip too tightly, you’ll keep chasing something that’s already slipping away.

That’s what salt does. But water softens it. If you have enough space inside you, you can experience everything—love deeply, lose yourself, feel it all—without getting stuck. You can hold the intensity of romance without letting it take over your world.

Leonard Cohen said, I lost the only thing I loved, and then I loved everything. That’s what happens when you expand. You don’t have to hold on so tightly. You can love fully, enjoy the moment, and when it changes, let it go. No gripping. No clinging. Real freedom isn’t shutting things out—it’s moving with life, fully feeling everything without getting stuck.

But most people don’t do that. They convince themselves, this is me, this is my desire, this is the only way I can feel this. They cling to a person, a dynamic, a high that once lit them up. But gripping doesn’t bring it back. It numbs it. The romance has to get bigger, the sex wilder, the drama more intense—until one day, what once felt electric barely moves them at all. The craving stays, but the electricity is gone.

That’s what happens when you mistake the high for the source. When you think love is about possession instead of liberation. But it was never about them. It was always about you. About how much space you can create, how much feeling you can hold, how much you can let move through you without clinging.

So instead of rejecting, you expand. You open up. You learn to want without gripping. To feel without needing. To love without losing yourself.