Detox From The Story Of Your Powerlessness

The most empowering thing you can do today as a woman is detox from the story of your powerlessness— a story that, in a fit of insanity, women around the world adopted from men who sought to keep us as children. We doubled down on our childlike status, exchanging positive attention for freedom.

In the most successful propaganda campaign ever, women not only adopted but passionately colluded with, bought into, created, and protected the very ideas that keep us in an inferior position. In other words, the more powerful sex used her power to secure her second-class status.

You must learn to see it—like Medusa’s tendrils— in all its forms.

Put everything against the concept: If I am the more powerful sex, how can this be?

Start with the idea of coercion, manipulation, gaslighting. Unless there is an initial threat of violence (because the second time, it becomes a choice), you are consenting to your experience. That is, if you are an adult and not mentally compromised. All adult women in possession of their faculties must deliberately disable their gut sense in order to be tricked, duped, or “brainwashed.” She does this not in service to the other (most often a man) but to her own addiction to dependency—to the need to be liked, validated, have proximal power, to be “loved,” to have security, companionship, and the belief that these things can only be attained in one way. That way, more often than not, involves selling yourself out rather than doing the hard work. Or trying to find happiness according to male metrics instead of developing and practicing your own.

Name the culprit.

Blaming men is like blaming alcohol for making you a drunk. They cannot do anything to you that you do not allow, endorse, and—as is the case for most women—train them to do. Our inaction trains them as much as our action. As they say in yoga, every time you allow your chest to cave in, you are training the muscles into weakness. You must deliberately work them in the opposite direction.

So then, stop. Look at everything you blame for your experience. Look at everything you blame for women’s experience. All the places where you say, a man is doing this to me, or men do this to women.

Rewrite it. You are the more powerful sex. Rewrite it from the position of the person who allowed, invited, attracted, and often trained a man or men to be that way.

The collective of women who have not drawn in the shadow of their power in this way makes up what we call the patriarchy. That large looming cloud is women’s disowned power.

• He made you do it.

• He forced you to do it.

• He controlled you into doing it.

• He dominated you into doing it.

• He gaslit you into doing it.

• He love-bombed you into doing it.

• He seduced you into doing it.

• He flattered you into doing it.

• He emotionally abused you into doing it.

(Again, if you are under the threat of physical violence— which is real— get out immediately. Otherwise, these are all co-created experiences.)

Reclaim your real power.

To do so, you must insert your motivations and drives into the equation— your perceptions of what you would get.

What did you want so much that you were willing to ignore what, deep inside, you knew?

Find it. Admit it. Name it.

That is your abuser. That is what gaslights you and tells you, Even though he didn’t call, he wants you.

That is what seduces you and tells you, If you abandon yourself, he will love you.

That is what controls you and tells you, If you do the work for both of you, you will get security.

That is what forces you to keep your mouth shut when you do not like what is happening.

That is what makes you people-please and build resentment when you can’t stand what is going on.

That is what makes you sell your soul for one compliment, one seat at the table, one moment of feeling special— one feeling of being better than others after so long of feeling less than.

That is what makes you deny the sources of your power in order to not offend.

That is what makes you reject your ownership of desire, creativity, and sexuality.

There is no him—only your response to him.

You need to understand: the stories women tell time and again about men making them do something are the very means by which we give our power away.

Change that, and you change your response to the urgent need for validation— the need that can only be fulfilled by plugging into your own power, Eros, and creativity. Then, no one and nothing will have sway over you.

You stop trying to fix your hair by taking a brush to the mirror.

Lack of power was the cause of all of our dilemmas.

If you never want to be intimidated by any man again— if, in fact, you want to take your seat as the one who steers and guides the world— this is the one and only process of getting sober.

Stand up. Get free today.