3 Levels of Relationship

There are three levels of relationship. The first is catch up and prove. Here, we are in a perpetual state of subtle testing or proving ourselves. The energy that would go to relaxing into or co-creating instead goes to these two activities.

The second is maintenance. We are committed to working on this relationship. We do the work to see our part, to be thoughtful, to benefit the person we care about, and to feel confident in their care. This comes with some, but not much, fear of the unknown. A basic agreement of goodness is set into place, and our relationship is one of sanctuary—a place where we go when life is difficult to find comfort and the security of knowing that at least one person is there for us, who cares about us, and who we can rely and depend on. The relationship itself is like a spinning top that only needs a slight touch to adjust it every now and then. It does not occur as a great deal of work. And, the work that it requires feels rewarding.

And third, we agree to live into the Mystery of another human being and to permit all-access entry into ours as well. There is no territory or behavior that is off-limits, as we agree to explore the fullness of our being. In consensual agreement, we work with the habit of possessiveness in order to dispense with the notion that something could be lost that might prevent us from offering the Mystery that arises from within ourself. The primary agreement we make is that at the moment form starts to concretize and restrict growth, we dissolve it.

Our own desire is to be a vehicle of freedom for each other, a reflection for the other person to witness themselves, see how they operate, know truth, speak the unspeakable, face loss, and maintain connection irrespective of perceived rights and desires. The nature of this relationship is to both give and receive everything with the willingness always to surrender in the name of connection itself. We are preemptive, proactive, and anticipatory of any place we or the other person would either disconnect or attempt to merge, both of which—and in equal proportion—kill relationship. Even if the other person does nothing, we’re agreeing to do all of this that is necessary, because we recognize a deeper truth.

People in bondage will always be an obstacle. Free people will always add to our flow. It is not personal; it is that free people are all answering to one voice: the freedom in Eros. Through intimacy, Eros calls all free people to be in dynamic movement, moving together in the same direction. That direction is to help remove the bondage of those who are not yet free on their terms. There simply is nothing else.