From Belonging to Desired

To belong is to recognize what has always been true: that we are of this place, as surely as breath belongs to the body or words to the silence that surrounds them.

There is no gate to pass through, no measure to meet—only the remembering of what is already so.

The sense of “not belonging” is merely a ploy of the tumescent mind to justify withdrawal.

The real inquiry begins when we no longer ask, “Do I get my equal due?” and instead turn our
attention to a deeper question: “How do I become the kind of person others naturally find joy in giving to?”

To be desired is a far more sophisticated position. There are steps we can take to become this kind of person:

1. Release the notion that we are owed anything.

To enter life with the belief that we already have enough is to inhabit a rare kind of freedom. It shifts us from the posture of scarcity to one of abundance, making our very presence a source of ease rather than tension.

2. Steep in appreciation.

Let gratitude dissolve the places within us that are brittle with resentment or unmet expectations. When appreciation saturates us, it becomes something that can be felt, like warmth from a fire—it emanates, it draws people close without us having to ask.

3. Make it easy for others.

This does not mean erasing ourselves or giving at our own expense. It is the opposite: offering presence so fully, so cleanly, that it becomes a benefit to us both. Like a well-timed word or a perfectly set table, we become someone people want in their lives because we lighten the air around us.