It is right to want to know all of life intimately—to know those we allow into our inner sanctum the way we would know a canvas we were painting OUR whole life.
It is right to want to feel the solidity of a stone wall of rejection or the charm of emptiness in the face of abandonment.
The difference between feeling it as right and beautiful or nightmarish is how honest we are in admitting that, in the background, we are always doing the calculations to create that precise experience.
That we chose this specific person because we knew that we could indeed trust them to provide it.