Break Up Often

One of the more challenging beliefs I hold is to break up often. You can do it in big ways and little ways, however you wish. It’s important to have the experience of breaking up because you only know who someone really is out of control. The rest of the time, you’re just dealing with the concretized persona of predictability. It may be an attractive persona, but you’re not dealing with the human being, and that’s where all the fun is.

It’s also worth asking: Who are you to me when I’m not there? Breakups reveal the truth beneath any performance. It strips away the careful image management and shows you how someone really feels when they think they’ve lost you.

It’s in those moments, when the container breaks, when control dissolves, that you discover if love was real or if it was just comfort dressed up as devotion.