Desire: It’s a word that elicits all sorts of emotions in women—from excitement to fear, from bewilderment to hunger. Most of us think we know what we want but when pressed, we have a hard time articulating it.
We have completely swept desire under the rug. But why? Why this chasm between ourselves and what we yearn for? How have we become estranged from our desire?
Desire often pulls us out of our comfort zone. But that’s not all it does. It also enlivens us. It enchants and delights us.
It is a benevolent, magnetic force that charms us right into a life of deeper meaning and fulfillment. It is a guiding light, a compass. It is the only map we have. When trusted, it will lead us deeply into the truth—the truth of who we are and the path we are meant to follow.
If you’ve found this post, you’re likely here for one reason: Desire is calling you.
You’ve tried doing things the conventional way-you know, navigating the nice straight line. Maybe you’ve ignored your deeper desire, or even denied it intentionally. But still, its voice is inviting you. The Desire Contract is a guide I made to help listen & respond to that call within each of us.
Big D Desires: Not all desires are created equal. Each may have a richness all its own, but only some
carry the power to move mountains. These are the “Big D’ desires—the ones that stand above the rest. They are the guiding light not just for this moment, this meal, or this shopping trip; they guide us for our entire lives. Big D desire is the desire of our deepest calling, the destination we are aiming for-freedom, power, wisdom, love. It’s what sets your compass.
Little d desires: Little d desires are the tools you need to get your Big D desire. They are the stepping stones required to get us from where we are to where we want to be. A Big D desire illuminates the path you are traveling with its guiding light—infusing each step with purpose and meaning. Your Little d’s include all the things you’ll want to pack in your suitcase as you head out on the journey.
Admissions: Admissions are the things, usually a handful or so, that you need to acknowledge in order to be admitted into your desire. They are the things you know but have been unwilling to admit in your heart. Unfortunately, what seemed like acceptable alternatives at one time may now be revealing themselves to have huge price tags attached.
Offerings: One thing I know to be true is that women want to contribute, to give everything we have to give—whether five years old or eighty-five. When we don’t, we wilt. Given an opportunity to share our gifts, we perk up like thirsty house plants after being watered. Much like the cycle of night and day, there is a cycle of giving and receiving. The overflowing bounty that I had to share when I began to truly receive the gifts of my own desires was due to this cycle.
Hard No’s: In writing your Desire Contract, you become the guardian of your desire. You are responsible for looking out for yourself as you hold this desire. You can be sure that your desire will ask you to go to your edges; to push your own boundaries. And yet, everyone has edges they are not willing to go past, that perhaps they shouldn’t go past. These are Hard No’s—the places you are simply not willing to tread on the path to your Big D desires
Your User’s Guide: The final piece of your Desire Contract is to lay out your “User’s Guide”—the instruction manual to you. As much as people might like to think they are low-maintenance and easygoing folks, everyone has behavioral quirks their friends, supporters, and angels would do well to understand in advance if they’re going to help us follow our desires.
Find The Desire Contract here.