The Day We’ve Been Waiting For…

Well, today is the day we’ve all been waiting for. Maybe not so much but it is a day that has been on the horizon for many years. It’s the first day of trial, jury selection.

The whole experience since the first article has been a beautiful disaster. An experience that I never
would have asked for that has birthed a transformation I never could have imagined. So, while I do feel a certain dread at watching the prosecutors do what I’ve learned prosecutors do, while I am not looking forward to that inner burn of injustice, I have a hard-earned, deep-seated trust in the process.

Because everything I’ve ever wanted, I got in the midst of this experience that I most certainly did not want. Because what I wanted most deeply, a thing that cannot be feigned or bestowed, is to have my mind fully secured on the plane of inspiration so that were it to have a voice, it would say, “I’ve come only for this, I’ve come only to love.”

To treat this process, however it goes, as a friend to be met, learned from, and changed by. And, more than anything, something to offer my best to. Last night, a strange moment in a sea of strange moments, I sat up, and the room took on a different dimension.

For a flash, I was between this and that. I was not my “self.” As if a director were giving direction, I heard a voice that described my character, “You are headed into court tomorrow. Jury selection.” And, zoop, it felt like a presence entered my body; apparently one a bit more capable of handling such news than I, a presence that did not take the experience personally, that saw clearly that this is no different from any other experience.

“Use even this to do your work.” Even more, the direction came to use this specifically as a platform to get the word out. Don’t just half-heartedly play the role of “defendant,” at the effect of the world. This is the crux, the crucible. It is not me on trial—even if technically it is—it is the ideas that I live by. And I would die on the hill for these ideas because they are the principles that give life, simple but misunderstood:

Women hold the power.

With power comes great responsibility; that responsibility begins by taking full ownership of one’s agency, volition, and desire. Access to a woman’s power is had through Eros, Eros is power on the feminine plane. Everything is about sex except for sex, sex is about this power. Until this is recognized and lived, then not only will there be unnecessary suffering but we will not be able to fulfill the Dalai Lama’s prophecy that (Western) Woman will change the world.

That this the what, the harnessing of sexual energies (arousal) is the how.

Perhaps these ideas are ahead of their time. That’s okay, they are in good company. When yoga and meditation came to the States, yogis were considered cult leaders, a threat to society. People who did extreme sports were considered inferior nut cases. People who used psychedelics were considered “Public Enemy Number One.”

And all of these today are considered the healing modalities of our time.

I do believe that one’s karma is determined—not by their conditions or even expressed through one’s conditions—but by how one relates to their conditions. It’s not whether or not you get the parking spot, it’s who you become in the face of getting it or not getting it. To not be defined by one’s conditions is one definition of freedom. And I am all about freedom. Part of my journey toward freedom has been developing the capacity to uncover opportunity in the dung.

It’s set to be a long trial. Sitting in a courtroom is not easy. Sitting in a courtroom for 8 hours facing your accusers, I suspect will be at times difficult. But so is retreat, so is pilgrimage, so is living one’s purpose. And the solution is always the same, get on the plane of compassion and fly. For everyone in that room. And this ask how this can be of benefit to all.

The truth:

“First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.”

-Arthur Schopenhauer.