The Eternal Room

There are two feelings I know as home: one is a dakini in flight and one is stillness. I’ve spent much of my life in flight, in perpetual motion, never landing, always moving. 

As a culture, we’re taught to think of stillness as turning the volume down or off or checking out. I experience stillness as fullness. 

But, think of a train and a car moving at the same speed, a sense of stillness is created. It’s not from a lack of anything, but an experience so full that you can be inside this deep, resonant presence. 

For a dakini to stay in flight, she needs that stabilizing complement, the pole that would have flight feel fun and like coasting. 

I believe ninety-nine percent of a woman’s insanity comes from a lack of stabilization while being in flight. They want to be met by a pole of true equanimity, moving in pitch-perfect response with everything that comes. They want that feeling of being fully supported, of being able to move freely. 

There’s a place I know, a place I call the eternal room. In that room, life effortlessly unfolds in full saturation and stability. Once you’ve known something like that enteral room and you leave it, a yearning remains, even if finding your way back isn’t certain. 

Yesterday, I felt that chasm of home open, as if the earth itself split apart, pouring out a sense of saturation, presence, stillness, and stability. What was new was that I didn’t have to come down to the ground to find it; the stillness moved with me in flight. And I could invite someone in to be in the stillness with me. 

For a dakini it’s not about ceasing flight, but about him learning to fly to meet her. She must lead, and together, they soar. The masculine is its own resolute energy within the feminine; they are both parts of a whole. The feminine encompasses the masculine, and in that union, there is a completeness.

But there are places where people get lost. One is where both come down to the ground, seeking stability in the safety of routine, and wind up with suburban love. The other is where he agrees to meet her in flight, but does so by having her carry him. He doesn’t bring his own resolute energy to stabilize her, and she becomes like a bird with a man on her back, flying endlessly until she’s too exhausted to continue. And when that happens, it all falls apart.