When we bought the “super fluffy’ towels that betray the reason for a towel — they absorb absolutely no water
When we tried to make bananas into milk, egg and butter for our various desserts and ended up with all things banana bread regardless of the recipe name
When we were sold that you could get the benefits of yoga and meditation from wearing yoga pants (or dating the yoga or meditation teacher)
When we thought that if we put guys in skinny jeans and made them into emo boys they would be more sensitive and instead they became poorly dressed, sexless, weeping dudes
When we bought the storyline that women are catty and backbiting and, not wanting to be left out, joined the club never realizing — wait, cats are great, and we could all use a little nibble on the back
When we conflated power with dominance and spoke in the foreign language of masculine linear facts and directives rather than eloquent poetry
When we traded in the life-giving Vaginal Pharmacy of Sexual Energies for the anti-depressants that work quite simply by killing life
When we went to lawmakers to change the laws rather than determining the laws that the lawmakers would carry out. When we went to the government to parent us rather than stewarding our government. When we looked to the business-driven media for the news rather than demanding that the media look at itself and its tactics
When we listened to men with dad bods about what our bodies should look like
When we bought at a very expensive price that which would take decades to pay off: the illusion that intellect could ever trump wisdom or that any institution that was not teaching the foundations of compassion, human connection, true power (the empowering of all) was anything other than a building of indoctrination
When we chose to have a dividing line in the parties. It has made it a terrible party to attend
When we allowed the age-old laxative, psyllium husk, to be used in the place of flour
That self-tanners are a replacement for good Vitamin-D inducing sunshine. And really all that they suggest: that the natural things that enliven can be replaced with the things that made us look like we used them
When we opted for a world of fire scientists rather than fire fighters to tell us about how to work with depression, anxiety and trauma; when we dismissed field study and exalted the distant observer role made it a terrible party to attend
When we believed that the French could eat cream and cheese all the time and not gain weight and discovered that they are one of the top consumers of diet pills. Michael Pollan got it right: Eat real food. Mostly vegetables. Not too much. Anything else is likely a sham
When autotune was permitted into music. I don’t even know who to yell at about that but listen to some Etta James or Van Morrison if you want to get synth-sober
That self-love involves the self in any way whatsoever other than to dissolve the fallacy that we exist in the manner in which we appear
That we should ever override our body for beauty, consciousness, or propriety
Oh, and that women are not incomprehensibly, inestimably, unalterably powerful, capable and in possession of agency. And that there is any way out of this war-everywhere, grabby guy, shopping mall hell of a world other than for every single woman to rise up and take ownership of her place in this revolution — which must be done in tandem with other women — ALL other women — or that we have the luxury of separating ourselves from any woman, or that there is any man more important than just one sister waking up, or that men aren’t important and precious, or that we need anyone, anyone at all, to give us permission or our rights. That it will happen in any way other than us waking up, rising up, standing up and taking what is rightfully ours and then handing the mantle to the next woman we see so that we might all rise together which is the only way we will. Yeah, we really got duped on that one.