On the path of Eros, what moves us and what we are moved by is desire.
Desire is the fuel, movement, and aim of this realm. And yet, there are various gradations of desire: fixation, wanting, true desire, and possession.
Fixation is an imposter of desire, rooted in lack of power and marked by a feeling of the mind being gripped.
No space exists between wanting and having. Fixation locks onto an object and says, “If I cannot have this, I cannot or will not be happy.”
Wanting carries a meager power, meaning it’s not dynamic enough to bring us into an Erotic state, but it can provide limited or comfort-based relief. We have conditions, and when they are met, we have a temporary experience of happiness.
Wanting falls into the realm of diminishing returns. We want the partner, the house, the car, the kids. We eventually have them. We experience a certain happiness. We then return to our homeostatic state and start again. Wanting says, “If I have this, then I will be happy.”
In the paradigm that offers us a dichotomy between pleasure and enjoyment, wanting falls into the pleasure category.
True desire is the energy that flows in the gap between having and wanting. The interesting thing with true desire is, it can only be accessed by approval of what is. It will not reveal itself until approval activates power and flow begins.
True desire is not as interested in the result or outcome as it is in being connected through the energy of desire itself.
Finally, there is possession. Possession is the equivalent of a well-formed desire swallowing us whole—where it’s no longer us having desire but desire having us. It is best experienced as play consciousness where the only desire that exists is to be an aspect of life playing in and with life.
In a sense, it is what life would become if we were entirely without control because this level only opens with a true relinquishing of will.
A paradox is revealed: We get to have everything we desire, provided it is truly from desire and not our rational wants.
–The Eros Sutras, Volume 1: Principles