Perhaps you know the expression from the movie Hustle and Flow, “It’s hard out here for a Pimp”? Well, let’s just say, it’s not so easy out here for a non-monogamous woman either. You run into difficulties untold. There is no “you are here” map- everything is on the fly. I mean, The Rules -don’t call him or kiss him and just basically make him think that you hate him and then hook him and know that you will live happily ever after- don’t quite apply. It’s an unfamiliar nakedness, the nakedness of being stripped of any role, be it boyfriend or girlfriend or even booty call (because this isn’t that either) or even mine or yours which has a lot of built in auto-responders. There is a whole set of “his and hers” conversational etiquette that gets a big N/A stamp when you hit that category. Even the word “baby” as in “ooh baby” or even “I want to have your baby” sounds garbled in scripted at the same time. Yes, this is my most recent challenge of the non-monogamy road, recognizing the artifice that overlays sex-the ways that I have, unbeknownst to me, secretly injected future concepts (not the least of which is I will love you tomorrow or something of that nature) in an effort to pump up the sex. I had no idea that my sex was being constantly injected with a love steroid until I started stripping away all of the additives and let it roam the full expanse of my bed noticing what it migrated to, what it ingested naturally. View full article »
Category: Taboo Topics
There was a contraption that Amelia Erhardt’s people strapped her into, a kind of flight simulator. It had no windows and it spun three hundred and sixty degrees. After whirling around for minutes, the machine stopped. There, in the dark, perhaps hanging upside down, men with clipboards yelled into her and asked, “Okay, what’s your direction now?” And she shouted back an answer, maybe northwest. She did this for months, until she was right almost every time.
She needed an internal compass that wasn’t nailed down, a compass that she could rely on irrespective of weather or the accuracy of flight control. She needed something that functioned perfectly in all conditions.
My compass was pointing due Trader Joes. Nipples skimming my linen shirt, the sliding doors part. I am surrounded by cool air and barely audible easy listening music. While dropping edamame into my cart and looking at the fish, I feel a hit of full magnetization. My back straightens, and my whole body is alert. My heart, organs, and the clitoral arrow are drawn forward. View full article »
As long as somebody is irritating to you, you have not penetrated them. Here is a beautiful example from my friends Rob and Rachel. A woman will crank up the volume of complaint until you handle her. She wants you to prove that you will penetrate her no matter how crazy she is. Trying to get away will not save you. But penetrate her and she will be butter.
“Women want to be possessed. In order to live there, we need violation – violation of all of the rules that are locking our sex down. We want those ideas out of us, so we can breathe and be free. Stop at nothing to get to her”. A clip from my January 7th intensive.
What’s so hot about a Thug?A video clip from Nicole’s recent one day intensive in SF. ”He bypassed all of my laws and rules that kept me from having the sex that i wanted.”
Good luck getting through these voices!!
- It takes him two weeks to get together in person. Yeah, this will never work. Ok, maybe I’ll go for a one time shot. I will chalk it up to an experience. I am still heartbroken from the last…50. We’ll have a good time, no big deal. If he doesn’t look right, I just won’t open the gate.
- I could get killed! What am I thinking? I have all my friends on text alert! Yeah! That’ll show him. You can’t kill a woman when her friends are texting her!
- Okay, he’s not bad. Not bad at all. But I am still not saying he’s good. There are good looking murderers. I will open the gate, but I will text my friends that we aren’t out of danger yet. View full article »
“He maneuvers my legs spreading open my hips and burying his pubic bone in deep. And there, as if I were a crater formed perfectly around his body, he enters. My pussy walls have dropped and swollen to the point that they have come outside my pussy.”
Dear M,
Happy Holidays, whatever your particular holiday may be. Did you get to see your wife and little girl? How does that go? I wonder if holidays are an intense time where you are.
They are always an intense time for me. I guess for everyone. I heard some crazy statistic like 8o per cent of people who get View full article »
I think people feel quite comfortable asking me personal questions because I am “out” about being a sexual being. I need to be honest and say that for the most part I am shocked, uncomfortable, taken aback, and at the same time, willing to answer. I think there is a fundamental misunderstanding that accompanies the word sex, and that is that anyone who is sexual and admits it – like all things scandalous and sensationalistic – that we are indiscriminate. Now I am not sure about others, but I can say that I learned the art and craft of my orgasm precisely because I am so incredibly particular. I can’t stand the feeling of salt on someone’s finger from a day of sweating. Or a single stroke that is not fully felt. I am not hungry in any way, and this is the fundamental requirement for discrimination and epicurean taste. In other words, it’s not such a good idea for a sommelier to be an alcoholic.
So I am working with a couple who likely think that I am a wild woman, that I will do anything, that I like it hard and fast, View full article »
I call him “The Circuit Breaker Guy”. I think every woman has one. The one you know in your heart will blow a fuse if you get too close. The lights will go out and it will get really scary. Like you are standing in line at Whole Foods and he is the “what’s wrong with this picture” guy – red briefs cupping his very View full article »
